Yaaaaaaaasssss! I am feeling fabulous, I am feeling Sporty and I am feeling AMAZING!
I can’t believe how quickly Spring is upon us, it’s quickly approaching, I find myself scrambling to get up to speed!
That being said have you all seen the tension between #teamblueandblack and #teamwhiteandgold its just ridiculous. The hubby questions if I can even see color! Jeez, who else feels divided? It’s tough being the only one (so far), in my family to see blue and black.
My husband can’t accept that I actually see a blue dress and he sees a white dress and sends me Photos like this, via txt when I’m working in my studio.
Yes, the struggle is real over at my house. Of course I have to retaliate, we are at WAR! Via txt.
We really just end up laughing hard.
Well Love, it’s another gorgeous day and I really wanted to just step out of the box and post a bit differently.
I guess since we’re friends and all, I might as well indulge in sharing.
Sharing… well sharing is hard for me, it’s hard for me to be a bit “transparent” a bit “vulnerable” I guess.
I read some AMAZING bloggers and I always ask myself, you know in my head. “How do they do it?”
Seriously! They are so eloquent, so down to earth in just how they express themselves and their challenges.
I do share, but it’s not easy for me, It’s not easy to just… “well today was a crazy tough day but oh my, I conquered it with grace and learned so much amazingness and I’m just going to explode and word enamor you with my writing skills about my life that sounds or plays like a movie in your mind“.
Like really? Some people have just these mad skills to play a movie in your head while you’re just reading letters.
Well, yea…. That’s all I wanted to say, it’s tough for me to write, to write out movie style posts and just be confident in telling you what I’m working on or reveal the “ugly” in my life in a beautiful way.
I know people say, “well if only more would just share about their imperfectness“. Um Ello (in the wise words of Madea, yes I said Ello in a Madea voice with the attitude and everything!).
Some people, such as moi, don’t know how to write what they struggle with without maybe sounding a bit offensive, blunt or rude, as I do sometimes and when really my heart just wants to pour out and be like…
Hey, I struggle all the time with life issues, with thoughts of am I being a good mom when I’m trying to grow a business. Am I being a good/great wife when I feel as though I fall short daily.
And the Kicker, Am I being a good servant of God for Christ and not for his sake but for mine!?
So, if this post sounds offensive, I really don’t mean it to be. If I sound rude or blunt, I really don’t mean to be. It’s hard at times to put my thoughts into words.
To share my heart without the fear of being hurt, because when you’ve been hurt, a lot in your life, You just tend to guard it in weird ways that seem rude, blunt or emotionless, but really, it’s just sometimes the brokenness that one is trying to heal from.
I’m a bit rough around the edges, I’m blunt and sometimes I do not sugar coat. I have a strong personality mix it with I’m Dominican (Latin flavor, if you don’t know what that means, it’s ok Chica or Papa, it’s ok!) but I try to be as loving as I can and as understanding as I can.
I fight, everyday with negative thoughts about not being good enough, worthy enough or just everyday about my imperfectness.
Yesterday, I had a God moment. I went to Church crying because I felt like I was just soooo imperfect. That things weren’t up to “my Standards” & I heard exactly what I needed to hear.
“Focus on Progress not Perfection”.
I’m not perfect and maybe God doesn’t want me to be perfect, maybe He just wants me to be focused on Him and the rest, well the rest He’ll take care of.
In This Post
Puma Jacket | Fit Bump Tank | Sequins Jacket (also worn here) | Jeggings (Yaaasss I will admit it! Also worn here) | Zombie Stompers | Clutch (made by me and Also worn here) | Wool Felt Necklace with wood accent and natural hemp cord (made by me)
P.S. Usually I’d type something like this out and delete it and just not reveal this much about myself. For some reason, I just had to share and it was time. Does that make any sense? I’m learning more and more how to let go and accept myself with my imperfectness. xoxo